First post of 2020! You’re 5 years old, which means at the end of this decade you’ll be 15 and emotionally I’m not ready to accept that fact.
You lost your first tooth a few weeks ago, so that was pretty exciting. I wrapped some floss around it and plucked it out and it flew onto your bed so we had to look for it hahaha. I regret to say that I accidentally fell asleep before I was able to switch out the tooth for money, so you were very upset when you woke up. BUT – thankfully I was able to throw some quarters under me and convince you that she accidentally put money under my pillow instead.
Anyways.
I’ve recently signed you up for soccer and Girl Scouts. You’re so active, and you’re so friendly and outgoing. I really hope these are good experiences for you. I feel bad that you always seem so bored at home, and I’m excited that these will give you ample opportunity to hang out with other kids and show everyone what you can do.
You are so friendly, smart, responsible, funny, caring, and considerate. I’m so proud of you everyday.
When I was pregnant, I always wondered if you’d like sports. Or if you’d want to play an instrument, or be an artist, or a writer, or a little STEM entrepreneur. I always hoped you’d love dancing and art like me, and be a little reader and fitness guru and activist all in one.
In the culture I grew up in, parents have a tendency to make it sound like you need to live up to the expectations they had before they even had you. As if they made you for a reason and it’s your job to live up to it.
I may have had a lot of ideas, but you can be whatever you want to be.
You are not responsible for fulfilling any of my wants or desires. I gave you life, and you need to live it in the way that’s best for you and you alone.
You owe me nothing.
As your mother, I want to do everything I can to give you a happy life. A comfortable one. A life of warmth and fulfillment and community and purpose.
You’re still young so you say a lot of things. You want to be an actor, a dancer, and a vet right now. That would be quite the career, but whatever you do with your future I’m already so proud of you.
I want to push you to get out of your comfort zone and try new things. I want you to learn a language, learn skills you might not think you need, learn to be involved when you otherwise would have stayed away. Right now I’m trying very hard to expose you to new things so that you can start to see things you like and things you don’t like.
When the time comes that you know what you want, I can’t wait to see you go for it. I’ll always be there for you no matter what you want to do with your life, my only wish is that you keep me in the loop so I can cheer you on.